Blog to end all nate blogs as we know them
I wrote this blog in pencil. I think I write better with pencil – even better than when I use pen. In fact I had forgotten this for quite some time, but having given my daughter a pencil sharpener for Christmas I’ve repented of my unleaded ways and returned to the gentle stroke and soothing soft scratch of graphite on paper. This blog has been brought to you by the No. 2
My rekindled love of pencils has actually given me a sore upper knuckle on the middle finger of my right hand. The already goofy calloused bump that lives there is just about rubbed raw. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced this before – it’s a bit bizarre and unsettling. Either a) I haven’t been writing enough and its gone soft on me or b) its a tumor, and we all know its in bad taste to make jokes about tumors.
I can’t write without secretly wishing I was Chuck Klosterman. In high school it would’ve been Douglas Coupland – shampoo planet changed my life and may very well be my all time favorite book ending – but now as I near completion of my third decade on this planet I’m smitten with Chuck. And pencils.
I’ve tried reading my own blogs and all I can think is… I wish I was reading Chuck Klosterman’s blog. I don’t even know if he has one, and if he does I’m sure getting up to speed on it would cost me years of my life so in the interest of remaining a productive member of society, I will not check. Plus if he did, I would have to stop blogging and turn this into a link for Chuck’s blog, because, it’s no longer a secret, that’s how I want my blog to read.
Too many blogs read like chicken soup for the blogger’s soul. With the advent of blogs way too many people have become way too impassioned and insightful – all of a sudden every life event is an applicable metaphor to enrich the online community. It’s like sappy forwards that we seek out rather than block sender. Too many blogs read like sermon starters. I wonder if blog reading personalities mirror reality TV watching personalities.
Everyone’s an expert and dumb and thoughtful. I’m not sure where this blog fits – more dumb than thoughtful I’m guessing. Is this irony?
It seems third person self analyzing is also a blogging trait. Casually/passively commenting on your own amazing brilliance. Being self efacing (like saying your blog is more dumb than thoughtful) in hopes that people will read it and be all, “Oh dude, he doesn’t realize how thoughtful he really is.”
I think I just used the word in the definition of the word.
There’s so much ego in a blog – So here’s my brilliant idea:
From now on I will no longer blog as living memoir (diary). I will only blog as fact or fiction – and never the twain shall meet.
Fact Blog examples – Here’s a song I wrote…Here’s an event that happened/will happen… Here’s a picture Note: Fact blog will be void of commentary. Unsubstantiated commentary dribbles right into fiction. See fiction below.
Fiction Blog examples – I will make stuff up.
I’m so freaking brilliant/dumb that I/you can/can’t believe it. I hope/fear you’re as excited/bored with this concept as I am/was.
NATE/nate