crucify the bunny
God I’m so confused by easter these days.
Last night our family had an interesting first. Lydia (3 1/2) walked down the toy aisles of Target. Up to this point she never knew these aisles existed in this or any store. I’m not sure how we avoided it for so long – we probably succeeded by never trying not to. When she saw the rows of dolls at one point she said, “Daddy, this is the best day of my whole life!” Kid you’re breaking my heart. I quickly checked my back pocket to make sure I had a credit card on me (we never actually use it and as a result every couple months they up our limit so I think we’re up to 2 billion or something equally unfathomable). I did have my credit card and so I proceeded to buy the entire toy section of target, all 11 1/2 aisles. Or at least that’s what I wanted to do.
I’m so sick of consuming – literally. Today I was in a funk (and who knows why, it’s been a great day) and I told Jodi the only way I could think of feeling better was selling everythng we own. She said, “Cool, start with your studio.” Aye, that’s the thorn in my side. I used to own a guitar and a little sound system. In fact for a brief period of time everything I owned on this earth fit in a 2 door hatchback, with a bike on the back. Now I barely fit in a 2 door hatchback.
I blame the easter bunny. A couple years ago i got an e-mail about protesting outside wal-mart (where i developed photos yesterday) during holy week because they had easter baskets with war toys in them. At the time I was much more active as a pacifist (now I’m just passive with a heart teetering on violence) and at first I thought it was a good idea – let’s go show the corporate giant a little power of the people!!! But the more I thought about it the more futile it seemed. Sure war toys are an overtly horrible thing to associate with easter, but isn’t the whole idea of going into that deplorable store to buy any of that plastic shit in the name of the living God a little sickening? Maybe I should’ve started a protest outside my Church instead, it seems we are the ones that bring about our own demise.
My friend Jim has got me reading a blog about this guy who’s living impact free for a year. In an article about him he (or maybe it was his wife) said something along the lines of, “if i was a college student i’d be marching against myself at this point.” I really want to march against myself.
I’m not sure how the resurection fits into this – I think it used to be a lot clearer.
We left target without buying any dolls. I think it was harder on me than on Lydia. Today when she brought it up again for the umpteenth time we came up with a plan involving chores, sticker charts, and rewards. It’s more legalistic than I’m comfortable with but it serves a practical need. Plus it gives Lydia goal setting skills that she can use for the rest of her life. Measurable, attainable, and deserving of a celebration.
Good luck measuring or attaining the goal of the cross. But tomorrow lets all do our best at celebrating it. I know we will. We’ve got 2 dozen plastic eggs filled with crap to prove it. Enjoy your vigils, congrats to all those being baptized tonight, peace, be still, rock on, etc…