citizens unite
I don’t know if you read American Hunter like I do, but if so then you know how awesome the regular ‘armed citizen’ feature is. What? You don’t read AH? Oh, then allow me to elaborate. In its selfless promotion of guns in the home American Hunter dedicates an entire page to AP stories concerning people shooting (often unarmed) intruders and then what happens to the intruders (always injured, often dying). Next time someone breaks into my house unarmed to steal my kick ass TV I hope I have the foresight to make it to my office, grab my keys, unlock my gun cabinet, load a hand gun that I normally only use for dear hunting, and, still undetected, pop a cap in the perp. (I learned ‘perp’ on Law and Order).
When Jodi and I got married I registered for a chainsaw at Target. Mostly because I was amazed Target carried chainsaws. Partly because I knew her relatives would buy me one. She made me take it off the registry for the meer reason we don’t have any trees. I explained it was to keep beside the night stand in case anyone broke into our house. Think about it. Someone breaks into your house and you grab your gun, they don’t know if you really have one or not, they don’t know if your bluffing, and you don’t know if they have one or if they’re bluffing and 99% of the time it ends with someone getting shot. That sucks. Buuuuut, if rather than grab a gun you crank up your chainsaw I guarantee the perp will run because there is no longer any doubt in his or her mind that you are one crazy ass mother…
I think we can all see the importance of excercising our right to own chainsaws. And if you’ve got a problem with my chainsaw just remember. Chains don’t kill people. Saws do. What the?
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“Sure animals got rights. They have the right to garlic and butter.”-Ted Nugent